political musings

Like many others, I am so proud to be an American today. I spent yesterday evening on my couch, under a blanket, watching the election results come in like I was watching the Superbowl. My roommate(s) walked in and out, asked uninformed questions, and looked at me like I was crazy. I ate a mini Snickers bar and read The Last Empress during commercial breaks and may have shed a tear or two when Obama's electoral vote count jumped from 200 to over 300 at 8pm.

Obama's speech... I don't have words for it. I am excited at the prospect of change. I do not think Obama has a magic bullet to fix all of American's problems, but I do believe that he desires to make positive change in our country and, as I told my students this morning, begin sewing up some of the gaping wounds from the last 8 years. We don't need a Band Aid, we need major surgery. I am disturbed by the tendancy that Obama opponents have to demonize our new leader just because he is different and represents change. How can anyone not realize that what we desperately need right now is change?

McCain ran a good race, but in the face of an economic crisis I believe that America is reluctant to trust another Republican. We saw this with the presidential race, but also with the House and Senate races. As one of my students pointed out, all the blame will fall on the Democrats if something goes wrong, but I don't know what else the Republicans could have done to secure this election when the Dems made such a concerted effort to turn the big swing states blue and McCain focused mainly on shoring up his own defenses. In the end, it just wasn't enough. When economics go south (especially as a result of a war that many do not support that was started by a Republican), it is hard to concede the leadership of our contry to another Republican. I believe that McCain did all that he could do, but the situation was against him. Do I think he would have won without the depression we are in right now? I'm not sure. But I do think it would have been a much closer electoral vote race.

So while I am proud to be an American today, I am disappointed to be a Californian. Although I'm not shocked at the Prop 8 ruling, it still makes me sad that, as many of my friends have already pointed out, right now we care more about the rights of farm animals than those of our actual citizens. How sad that we live in a state that can elect an African-American man as our president but cannot get past our own ignorance and close-mindedness to allow people to live their lives the way they choose to.

As a human being, I believe that we all deserve to be treated as equals. No one should have their basic rights as citizens taken away because of a lifestyle choice, because they are different. Who do we think we are to tell somone that because they are different from us, they deserve to be treated as "less?" It literally makes me sick to my stomach. Gay marriage is not about education, nor is it about religion. Gay marriage is about treating people like human beings, with the dignity and respect and fairness that, as human beings, we deserve.

As a Christian, I believe that we are instructed by Jesus, first and foremost, to love. I do not believe that it is my place to judge the lifestyle choices of someone else, nor do I believe that I have any right to tell someone that they are living their life incorrectly until I fix all of the junk that is in my own life. I think that we need to be a little more concerned with love and a lot less obsessed with legality. I cannot believe that Jesus would actually want me to tell someone that they are not good enough to share the same rights that I have just because they are living a lifestyle that is more openly taboo than some of the more private sins that I personally deal with. It's sometimes hard for me to wrap my liberal Christian mind around it, but in the end I always come down to love. Prop 8 passing has nothing to do with love and everything to do with ignorance and judgement. I am a sad Californian and a sad Christian.

I think Prop 8 is largely a generational issue and I do believe that in coming years we will start to see a definite shift.

There's more but.... I'll get off my soap box now.

never leaves too soon

Do you dream that the world will know your name?
So tell me your name
And do you care about all the little things,
Or anything at all?

Do you believe in the day that you were born?
Tell me do you believe?
Do you know that every day's the first
Of the rest of your life?

This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother's love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us, to all of us.
-Thriving Ivory, "Angels on the Moon"

some women are dripping with diamonds

Today I felt like my students actually learned. I mean, we do stuff every day. We journal and read out loud and do vocabulary exercises and practice our grammar. We answer critical thinking questions and have discussions and take quizzes and study for tests. But today...

Today I gave a mini-lecture about the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl to set the backdrop for Of Mice and Men. And they were rapt with attention. They were fascinated. About the Dust Bowl! They wanted to know about the stock market and why it crashed and what did people do if they didn't have money. "Where did the farmers in Oklahoma go, Miss G?" they asked. "What did they do when they couldn't farm their land anymore because of the drought?"

"They moved to California, young scholars. They moved to California and California said, 'We don't want you either. We don't have any money to pay you.' So they were kind of screwed."

"But then what? What happened? Where did they live?"

I slapped a picture of a Hooverville up on the overhead.


"Whoah. People lived there?"

"Yep."

And in one class: "Isn't that what happened in The Grapes of Wrath?"

Breakthrough!

dancing in the moonlight

I received an email today from an individual with a considerable amount of authority at my site that asked me to meet with one of our new teachers as often as possible to share teaching and behavior management strategies with her, because she is struggling considerably. This was in response to my request that no other students be transferred into my class from her class 8 weeks into the school year because they are coming to my class too far behind to be successful.

I would post the reply I wish I could have sent, but to be perfectly honest I am still too flabbergasted that she actually suggested this in the first place to even begin to form coherent thoughts.

My department chair wanted to know if the school was planning to pay me to teach our new teacher how to teach properly. Indeed.

cover me

According to Glassbooth, I should be voting for Cynthia McKinney this November. Go Green Party!

Don't worry friends, I'm still 80% compatible with Obama and the Democrats will, as usual, be receiving my vote (and to be fair, McKinney used to be a member of the Democratic party).

The kids are benchmarking today. I'm getting so much done for once!

oh susanna

This has been a pretty fabulous weekend, if I do say so myself (and I do!).

Yesterday AM I slept in, then walked up to a coffee shop, rocking out to my iPod in crazy blustery windy weather and planned for the next two weeks. Major breakthrough! I have really enjoyed having the time to really plan out what I will be doing in my classes far enough ahead of time that I don't feel like I'm running around like crazy at the last minute. Brian and I had lunch after his class and we headed out to ANOTHER coffee shop, where I made about a million worksheets (but it felt so good!). And then I cleaned out my closet, putting all my summery things in boxes and unpacking my sweaters and corduroy pants and fleecy PJs.

With my luck, it will be 90 degrees this week. Damn global warming.

This morning we started the Old Testament Challenge Part 2 at UCC with the book of Joshua. It was serious good times. Brian and I had a sweet talk on the drive home about the Old Testament and what I believe as far as, like, what the heck it all means. After some lunch, Brian and I did MORE grading/planning/worksheet making at Tupelo and then took a nap. Well, Brian took a nap. I may have done some more planning. I can't help it! Sometimes I just get so into what I'm going to be teaching that I just can't stop prepping! It's weird, I know.

And now, Brian is at Alpha at UCC. I have taken advantage of this glorious alone time by making a Carribean Chicken Stew and.... more worksheets. But really good ones!

wake me up

A list of people I know who are currently pregnant or recently had a baby:

• Tammy
• Beth H
• Sam
• Katie S
• Jenn
• Molly
• Megan
• Katie G
• Renee
• Shannon
• Angie
• Virginia
• Beth M
• Erin
• Ryan
• Bronwyn
• Joy
• Maria

(To be fair, that last one is one of my students from last year...)

And I'm sure there are more.

The number of ultrasounds on my Facebook friends page is simply astounding.

This would all be OK if my students would just stop telling me that if I don't hurry up and get married/pregnant, I'm going to dry up soon.

I mean, really.

when the storm fades

Tomorrow is Friday and I haven't written any referrals this week. I don't want to jinx it but... that's good news. Today was actually pretty great. I handed out Academy awards (which made some kids super happy), gave some notes, read some short stories, lectured 5th period for a bit about how the best 9th grade teachers at our school were hand-selected just for them so they need to stop talking and give us the chance to do what we are good at doing, and revised a few Works Cited pages during passing periods. The persuasive essay is due on Monday, but little do my students know they are going to have to do a revision workshop in class and then have another few days to finish. I'm sneaky that way. Well really, I just can't stand reading papers that have so obviously not been edited. I am shamelessly offering extra credit to any student who has a Learning Center tutor read and edit their essay before the due date. We can discuss teaching ethics later, but if it means they don't wait until 10pm on Sunday night to begin their paper, I'll do whatever I need to do.

I think tomorrow we will finish our short stories and have a community circle day. I am behind in my grading, but can't really find it in myself to be too concerned about it.

im no superman

I am tired. My students exhaust me. They are so needy this year. I am trying to stay positive, but it's really hard. Things had gotten better by this time last year. Wasn't this year supposed to be easier?

we are the sound

singing for freedom

I called a sub today, then slept in and drank coffee and planned for the next two weeks. I told my kids yesterday that I felt a strange, student-related illness coming on. One of my advanced students said, "I think that's called stress, Miss G."

Stress, indeed.

My job has been really hard lately and this week, for the first time since I started teaching, I actually didn't want to go to work. I realized yesterday afternoon though that I was allowing a select few students really ruin it for me, and that most of my kids are pretty awesome, even if they do drive me crazy and refuse to stop talking. Teaching in the Academy has been great because I have the support of three other teachers who are all having the same problems, but it also means we have a lot more meetings to deal with those problems and I feel like I am not getting enough prep/grading time most days.

It's frustrating, to say the least. Which is more critical - the management piece or the curriculum piece? Does the curriculum even matter if the management isn't there? Doesn't management kind of depend on keeping kids busy and thinking critically through well-planned curriculum? At the end of most days I feel like my head is about to explode.

And I'm still not getting enough sleep, but the main annoyance there is that I am too tired to go running when I get home and I'm feeling.... squishy.

This weather annoys me. 92 degrees? Still?

I am taking Brian to The Kitchen for his birthday next weekend. We're both really excited - me probably more than him because I've been dying to eat there for years. I think I'm also going to buy him a Carnivorous Desktop Plant Set. You know, because I can.

Brian and I have been talking about weddings lately, which actually does not terrify me for the first time in my entire life. I am rather taken with the idea of a late fall/early winter wedding, the colors evergreen, lavender, and shades of brown, the great outdoors and other rustic accents, a chuppa, a homemade cookie buffet, these seating "cards," and these invitations.

More to come - Brian and I are hitting the town tonight! (Mostly because this is the first Friday since school started that I haven't needed to take a nap)

the more i know you

I wore a sweater today. It was delicious.

I'm not getting enough sleep.

feelings show

Here's the update on high school goings-on this week. I'm getting a massage today...

To start, our freshman class this year is.... more trouble than usual. We seem to have a lot more gang-related activity than last year and behavior management (which I've never really struggled with) has been an issue for all of us in the Academy. We chalked this up to immature and squirel-y freshmen but... we were a little off.

On Tuesday afternoon, there was a gang-related shooting at Campbell Park. We stepped up security on Wednesday, especially after we received news of an assault at the continuation high school. On Thursday, there were two incidents during lunch that were quickly extinguished by our VPs and the heightened security on campus. Nonetheless, were concerned about the rally that we had scheduled for Friday.

On a completely un-gang-related note, two students were suspended (expulsion pending) for having a gun and brass knuckles on campus last week as well. So things have been feeling a little out of control lately.

On Friday morning, my students came into 1st period asking about the bomb threat. I told them that there had been no bomb threat, so settle down. Then they wanted to know if I knew about the hostage situation downtown. I didn't, but I quickly got on my computer to see if I could get some details. This was unrelated to our school, but still had the kids upset, and definitely added to the chaos later in the day.

During 1st period, I received an email that the rally we had scheduled for 4th period had been canceled because of rumors that "something" would be going down. It was probably nothing, but as a precautionary measure we postponed the rally to keep our kids safe. Half the school in the gym with limited means of escape if something were to actually happen? A bad idea.

My students were bummed and when second period came in we had a brief discussion about the events that had been going on in the community and whether they felt safe or not (they didn't, big surprise). Halfway through second period, it was announced over the PA system that we were going into a Code Yellow (precautionary) lock-down as a result of the hostage situation downtown. It was really because students had been texting each other that someone had a gun on campus (my students told me). Normally, we would have chalked that up to just rumors, but with everything that had been going on, we wanted to be safe.

About 45 minutes later, I received official word via email that there might indeed be a gun on campus. I had my Advanced kids and we played Sudoku and did crossword puzzles and ate Dum-Dums. I allowed them to call/text their parents because we were releasing students (escorted by security) to their parents if they came early to get them. About half of my kids ended up leaving early.

Meanwhile, the office pulled in and searched several students who they believed might be the main culprits, but found nothing except drugs (awesome). During this time, they also heard (through students again), that since we canceled the rally and were keeping the students in the buildings, there would be a drive-by after school. We decided to release the students early, building-by-building, starting at noon.

In the end, the remainder of my students got to go home around 12:30. I escorted them to the office, not allowing them to go to their lockers or any other parking lots, and monitored them to make sure they met up with their parents or walked down the block to their houses.

When we finally got all the kids off campus, we had a huge faculty meeting to debrief and, rightly so, be outraged. Our police officer liaison explained that there has been an increase in gang-related activity in the entire city because a large number of Nortenos who had been arrested several years ago have recently been paroled back into the community and they have been recruiting hard to increase their numbers. She also told us that, unless we started changing things soon, we were on our way to a school shooting.

The main problem we have is that it's almost impossible to expel students in our district. High expulsion numbers look bad so we put students on stipulated expulsions in which they are eventually allowed back onto campus if they behave. We also have teachers who get in the middle of fights, but don't know the names of the students who are fighting, so the kids don't get documented. We also have teachers who do not report students for dress code violations (color-related), because they are afraid of the repercussions from those students. I disagree with this wholeheartedly. First, the kids really don't care about the teachers and are not going to reciprocate if we send them to the office for wearing blue. Second, by letting them sit through a full day of classes out of dress code we are telling them that A) it's OK, we don't really care that much or B) they have more power than we do. And neither of those is true.

I have a lot of really strong feelings about what has been going on since school started, but mostly I'm angry that my students feel so unsafe that they can't learn and that I have been so busy policing these little 14-year-old boys who think they are hardcore that I haven't been able to focus on my teaching. I entertained the thought of quitting yesterday if I didn't see changed made at both the site and district level, but I think it's more important that I'm there and advocating for the 99% of my students who are kind, sweet, and hardworking.

But I can't make any promises for next year.

never too late

I hate that when I look at the weather and see that it will be 95 degrees today, my first thought is, "Oh, that's not so bad."

I have been living in Northern California for way too long.

it's all mine

I really should be asleep, but Brian and I went to Tupelo to grade for several hours and I'm cranked up on caffeine. C'est la vie. I'll pay for it by 5th period tomorrow.

Speaking of 5th period, I just emailed myself new "Operating Instructions" for my benchmark English 9 classes. They are as follows:

1. Raise your hand and wait to be called on.
2. Be quiet when it is time to be quiet.
3. Stay in your seat at all times.
4. No arguing.

Seems simple but... you'd be surprised. My classes are a handful this year, made more difficult by the loss of class-size reduction, so I have 35 fourteen-year-olds in class at one time. After lunch, no less. Joyous.

I'm in the process of grading my Advanced 9 summer assignments. It's taking forever because literally every single student did the assignment. Grading takes a lot longer when everyone does their homework. Funny how that works.

All in all, though, it's shaping up to be an eventful year. I like my students and having all three levels of 9th grade English is a fun challenge. I also feel more productive, more organized, and way more on top of my game than I did last year. It helps that having two blind students forces me to stay a week ahead in my lesson planning so I don't get stuck without a worksheet in Braille at the last minute, although I've been spending too long after school getting things ready for the Braillists this week. I need to remedy that soon.

Also, I'm all moved into the new house in Sacramento, so now I have a new neighborhood to learn and a sunny yellow bedroom to organize.

Pictures forthcoming!

say it again

I am fascinated by Michael Phelps, now the most decorated Olympian of all time. But who isn't, really? While watching him swim last night, I decided to do a little research...

• Phelps is 6'4", but has a 6'7" arm span
  
• His hands are the size of dinner plates
• His ankles, knees, shoulders, and elbows are double-jointed
• His size-14 feet are so flexible, he can lay flat on his back, arch his feet and curl his toes to touch the ground
• His legs are the length of a 6'-tall man, but his torso is the length of a man who is 6'8"
• He can burn up to 4,000 calories in a single workout
• His heart pumps 8 gallons of blood a minute - twice that of a normal 23-year-old man
• He swims nearly 50 miles a week during peak training phases
• He consumes nearly 4,000 calories per meal. And he doesn't cook. Ever.

According to the New York Post:

• For breakfast, Phelps eats three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise, two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.
• For lunch, a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread and about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.
• Finally, for dinner Phelps can put away another pound of pasta, a whole pizza, and another 1,000 calories in energy drinks.

and i step to the edge

I have been waiting and waiting for someone, ANYONE, to say that the new iPhone is horribly overrated and to not spend my hard earned money on one but... That just does not seem to be the case. I drooled over Stephanie's when she bought hers, I drool over Kyle's every time he pulls it out during a meeting, I got jealous when Ben told me that he got one for his birthday, and then last night Bethany shows up to youth group with a shiny new 16G white iPhone and I nearly cried.

I want to believe that I am above the iPhone. That I am not that materialistic and that my Nokia 6126 works just fine (it's only 7 months old!). But to be perfectly honest, I would give just about anything for an iPhone.

And what makes it worse is that I can afford it. I can totally afford it. There is nothing stopping me from making this purchase except the inevitable shame I will feel for succumbing to such a ridiculous piece of technology.

nothing can keep us apart

I know I've been seriously absent these last several weeks and I have no excuse other than I have been thoroughly enjoying reading books, lounging in the sun, and spending time with the people I love. Oh yeah, and going to weddings.

Brian and I are leaving in one week for a whirlwind tour of the west coast, starting in Davis, cruising down to Santa Cruz, and then heading all the way up to Oregon for the Shakespeare Festival and finally ending up in Medford for wine tasting before coming back to Sacramento to start teaching. I can't believe this summer is almost over! But I am also really looking forward to the coming school year, my new house in Sacramento, and not being a full-time or even part-time student!


Until I decide to post again, keep my dear friend Tammy, her husband Frank, and their brand new baby in your thoughts and prayers. Baby Sam was born 2 1/2 months early about a week and a half ago and, if the blog they are keeping to document his progress is any indication, he is a serious little fighter. Keep it up, Wartas! I love you all very much!

my latest obsession

I've been working on a personification of jealousy for my writing class. Here's my sencond (third?) draft:

Jealousy and I first met in high school. She sat in front of me in fourth period Chemistry, her long perfectly blonde ponytail snaking down her back. Jealousy borrowed a pencil from my boyfriend and returned it at the end of the period with a sweet smile accompanied by a whiff of perfume. It suddenly became impossible to avoid her. She has stayed with me ever since that day - sometimes leading, sometimes following, but always close at hand.

Jealousy is fickle; a best friend on Thursday and a mortal enemy by the weekend. Her mood swings are unpredictable and volatile. It takes little to provoke her and much to calm her down. In the early stages of our relationship we would not speak for months only to become inseparable shortly thereafter. While green is the color most often associated with Jealousy, I know her as red - rash and aggresive.

Jealousy works at the coffee shop on the corner. The lattes she make have a distinctly bitter aftertaste, but for inexplicable reasons she remains the most popular barista there. She has also been known to frequent the park a block from work, the gym, the post office. She moonlights as a waitress at my favorite restaurant and I swear I saw her just last Tuesday in the lobby of my apartment building. She was wearing the same dress I wore out last weekend, but looked better in it.

Jealousy collects my sharpest memories and reveals them like treasures at parties and family gatherings, reveling in my discomfort. Jealousy loves to be the center of attention. She tends to repeat anecdotes that have the greatest impact, sometimes even years after the original hurt has passed. Opening up old wounds is her favorite parlour trick.

I've known her for years but I still don't know how to deal with Jealousy. I dread confronting her because she loves to argue, but if I try to ignore her, to push her to the back of my mind... well that's where all her strength comes from in the first place.