or step aside

Also, I ran into Annie at the gym today (she was working, I was working out) and we decided that if I decide to take a job teaching up here and don't move back to the Bay next fall, we will live together.

This makes me very happy.

let it be

I miss having free time. And not free time to clean my room or catch up on lesson plans (which I did today), but free time to hang out with people and have a life outside of school.

Yay, grad school.

I'm babysitting tonight. Pheobe finally stopped crying about 20 minutes ago and I'm watching Stephen King's Dreamcatcher - an OK movie and much better novel. Man, I love scary movies.

I like October because October means Halloween and Halloween means lots and lots of horror movies on TV. I love horror movies. Good ones, bad ones, cheesy ones, terrifying ones. I love them all. And I'll watch them over and over again, even if I've seen them a million times already. It's kind of ridiculous. I'm glad the kids are asleep.

Tomorrow Daniel and I are driving down to Carmel (hooray!) for Alex & Erica's wedding (double hooray!). I'm looking forward to great weather, late-breakfast/early-lunch in adorable Carmel, and a really fabulous wedding with all of my absolute favorite people. Then, I get to go visit my parents and do laundry! A full weekend, indeed.

I just found out that I have to dress up for Halloween at my junior high. But I still need to be able to move around and teach and be taken (somewhat) seriously. Any ideas?

From Junior Year, ...

I carved this pumpkin!

who do you think you are

If you're looking for something sweet, may I recommend The Nugget's German Chocolate Brownie? Daniel brought me one (and some other delicious treats) to enjoy while we watched Saw II on Saturday night when I got home from the Corn Maze (full evening, I know). I finished it just now (it's that huge!) and it was delightful.


In less sweet news, Saw III comes out on Friday and whoa man, am I excited!

lily dreams on

Last night, I took some of the girls in my seventh grade small group to the 35-acre Dixon Corn Maze. It was, in a word, epic.

From Corn Maze!

Edit: I just got an email from one of my girls thanking me and saying how much fun she had. Holy crap, I heart junior highers.

watch things disappear

I've spent more time with ADX in the last week than I probably did the last half of my senior year. What an incredible group of girls they have this year - it's very exciting. More exciting than that, though, is finally being part of the awesome sisterhood of ADX alum and having the opportunity to sit together and retell all the greatest ADX storeis and remember what it was that made ADX special enough to take the plunge and pledge a group that, at the outset, we knew basically nothing about. There are so many things I loved about ADX when I was active, and even more things that I love about ADX now that I have the chance to step back and view it as a whole.

We are girls who travel the world separately and reminisce together. We play hard, pray hard, and laugh harder. We move across city lines, state lines, and country lines but stay in touch through exorbitant cell phone bills, "mondo emails", and the not-nearly-often-enough coffee date. We graduate, get real jobs, get married, have babies but still sit around living rooms giggling like we did during our first active retreat. We are the first to know when life gets tough and the first to know when life is just incredible. We are bridesmaids, godmothers, and lifelong confidants. We are smart and sassy and just a little bit stubborn. We believe in the life-changing love of Jesus Christ and the life-saving power of a good joke. We rarely pass up an opportunity to spend time with eachother (or spend money on shoes) and willingly go out of our way to give someone stuck on campus a ride or bring someone stuck studying for O-Chem cookies. There is something amazing about ADX girls, and it's not just because we're intelligent or adorable or undeniably crafty - it's that we believe in eachother, we believe in miracles, and we believe in the same God.

Yeah, it's cheesy. You'll get over it.

Winter 2006 with the Alpha-Alpha class

this is the sound of settling

Sometimes I want to scream, "Is this it?!"
at the exact same moment I want to scream, "This is everything!"

From Camp of the W...

we used to be friends

For those of you who read this and don't actually know me (anyone?), my family owns a grocery store in Palo Alto. It's uniquely situated in the middle of College Terrace and a block from the Stanford campus. We've been there, family owned and operated, for over 50 years. There are, in fact, only 2 family-owned and operated grocery stores left in Palo Alto, and we are one of them.

There are a lot of things that make JJ&F really special. One is that the store is, at least superficially, run almost exactly the way my grandfather ran it back in the 50s. We have customers who have shopped with us for their entire lives. People come in not just to shop, but to see friends and catch up with people. My dad is one of the only butchers left in the Bay Area who breaks his own beef (we get a whole cow from Harris Ranch and do all of the cuts ourselves). We are a neighborhood market with specialty items and a gourmet meat department.

And we're being forced out of business.

This has been going on for about a year, but it's a complicated situation. First, there was going to be a big remodel, per the request of the property managers. Then, we realized we would have to close in order to remodel, and my dad wasn't willing to take that risk because we are already in close competition with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods and closing the store for an indefinite amount of time is just recipe for losing customers. Then the property managers got angry and all hell broke loose. The store is being sued, my dad is being sued, they say we owe a ton in back rent, we are counter--sueing because they never told us they raised the rent, etc etc. The fear, of course, is that we will lose in court (although it's not likely) and the store will close and we will have, quite literally, nothing. Not only will we not get any money (because the other option is to sell), but we'll owe all of these bogus back-taxes and rent. And it sucks because my family has worked so hard for so long and it may all end up being for nothing. And all along, no one has known anything about it because my dad wanted to keep things quiet

Yesterday, the Palo Alto Daily News published a big story. Because they couldn't contact us for an interview, they only had the property manager's side. We were made to look pretty bad. My dad was super upset because now he has to field questions at work because, obviously, our loyal customers are going to be caught totally off gaurd.

Today, the San Jose Mercury ran a story. This one was better, but things are still really up in the air right now.

The whole situation just sucks. My dad just turned 60 and all he can think about is how he's worked so hard his whole life and he's going to have nothing but debt when he retires. This store is all we have ever known. And, even more than that, it's like an institution in Palo Alto and to see it go.... Well, it would just be bad.

So, I don't know. If you pray, pray now. I hate seeing my family so sad.

just a momentary thing

I haven't done a meme in.... well, ever. But I thought this was kind of clever. Answer in two words only!

1. Explain what ended your last relationship?
Geographically undesireable

2. When was the last time you shaved?
Wednesday morning

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Sleeping in!

4. Were you any good at math?
That's funny

5. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Driving home

6. Your prom night?
Super anticlimatic

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
American Indians

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school?
Thanks, parents!

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?
Yeah, duh

10. Last thing received in the mail?
Junk, bills

11. How many different beverages have you had today?
Milk, juice

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine?
Short ones

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
OC Supertones

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Junior high

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
Wisdom teeth

16. What is out your back door?
Train tracks

17. Any plans for Friday night?
Lesson plans

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
My fav

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Gross, no

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Not yet

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Never ever

22. Some things you are excited about?
Thanksgiving break!

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
Anything orange

24. Describe your keychain(s)?
Jump drive

25. Where do you keep your change?
Laundry basket


In other news, I have to create and maintain a "professional website" for my EDU 180 class - kind lame, but check it out.

no sleep tonight

I'm sick again.

I went to school anyway because, you know, it's my job, and came to a really depressing conclusion about growing up...

See, when you're a kid and you go to school and you get sick, you go to the nurse and relax for a while and they call your mom and she comes to pick you up and take you home and you lay down on the couch for a while and she brings you medicine and doesn't let you do anything until you feel better.

When you're an adult and you go to school and you get sick, you suck it up and deal with it. That, or you decide that indeed you are too ill to stay, so you drive yourself home and lay on the couch and watch crappy daytime TV until you get thirsty or need more medicine or need to take your temperature, at which point you drag your sorry butt off the couch and get a glass of water or dig through your medicine cabinet fruitlessly for ten minutes, only to realize that your thermometer has disappeared in the move and you took the last of your DayQuil the last time you were sick.

These gastrointestinal pyrotechnics are getting old. I miss my mommy :(

you have been the one for me

I figured maybe I should write about something of substance...

On staff retreat last weekend we did a value-sorting exercise, where we were given 30 values and had to sort them according to importance in work situations. Inevitably, things like "working on the frontiers of knowledg" and "precision work" and "stress/pressure" ranked very low on my value continuum. Likewise, "helping others", "creativity", and "independence" ranked very high. However, so did "mental stimulation" and "working alone".

Which brings me to the conclusion that, if you've been paying attention, has been brewing for quite some time now:

I hate grad school.

I hate group work and partner sharing and stupid projects. I'm tired of observing teacher's whose teaching strategies I don't agree with and I'm sick, sick, SICK of keeping observation journals. The more I sit and listen to lectures on learning theories and EDI and minority representation, the less I want to even be a teacher. Yesterday, I turned in a big project. It was this:


Miss Garcia's Learning Theatre. A visual metaphor of how I learn. Learning is like theatre. The lights illuminate your prior knowledge, the audience assesses both the individual as well as the ensemble performance, blah blah blah.

Am I really doing arts and freaking crafts? I'm 22 years old and I'm making posters for homework. I'm reading boring books that aren't telling me anything about teaching except that it's "the most important job you can have", and no one will just let me teach anything. I'm bored. And anyone who knows anything about behavior management knows that the kids who are most distruptive in class are the ones who are bored. Does anyone remember me in junior high?

When do I get to teach Steinbeck? I'm over it.

Now is the winter of our discontent.
-Shakespeare, Richard III

stop hey whats that sound

OK guys, seriously, watch Veronica Mars tonight. 9pm on the new CW.

If this show gets cancelled, I will be majorly bummed.

you know youve gotta help me out

There's this fabulous little place in Claremont that Stephie took me to called 21 choices (there's also one in downtown Pasadena). It's basically Coldstone, but approximately 1 billion times better AND with handmade frozen yogurt and specialty flavors that change daily. Tonight, I could really go for French Vanilla with some Twix mixed in. I miss LA. And Stephie...

Staff retreat at Tucker's cabin this weekend was super-fun as usual. Sadly, I represented basically the entire female staff all weekend and it was... tiring. As much as I love being "one of the guys", I really missed Monika and Bethany and wished that Kelly and Cathy could have been there so we could discuss small group things that pertained to girls. Oh well, maybe in January. It was fun, however, to be there with the high school staff and to have a couple of days with nothing to do but enjoy the scenery and a little serenity. I needed a break.

My dad turns 60 this Friday, so I'm heading home after our game on Saturday morning to celebrate a little and attend Palo Alto's Glass Pumpkin Patch with my mom. It's fall! I'm so excited!