I'm just feeling a lot of anxiety. And writer's block. Blah.
follow the bright lights
they might change you.
if you get lost along the way,
we'll find another way to dance
2 months ago
[Sometimes] I completely forget about God’s undeniable goodness and start grumbling and complaining, walking through my rainy Davis days thinking, “Why am I here? What is the point? Why am I working so hard at all this? God, when will you bless me?”
And I need to be disciplining myself to recognize God's blessings in the ordinary everyday, not just the extraordinary adventures that He sends me on... Because I think the boring everyday requires us to move forward on faith alone as well, it just doesn't seem as exciting.
...I desire to find the joy of the Lord in every single thing I do, and while I have been blessed to go on exciting adventures and work with spirit-filled people and experience God in powerful ways in beautiful places, life isn't always like that. Sometimes I'm stuck in Davis or the Bay on a dreary day and I wish I was at Lake Berryessa or in Maui or skiiing in Tahoe or even working the carnival at COTW but instead I'm reading about the philisophical foundations of education or folding laundry or looking for a new apartment. But God is good and present in all of these things - the breathtaking and the mundane, the exciting and the routine, the life-changing and the sometimes lifeless.
How blessed am I, Lord, to have breath in my lungs and a song on my lips? How awesome is this place that I am surrounded by Your blessings, even when I don't always recognize it? Life is beautiful, even when I'm not in New York, and especially when I'm right here.