its now or never

I keep saying I have tons more to write about but that it will have to wait and then I never get around to it. Ergo, here I am at 12:30 in the AM after baking nearly 10 dozen chocolate chip cookies for my students, exhausted and all allergy-y, and realizing that I still have tons to say, but no time to say it in because I desperately need sleep tonight.

I'll boil it down to this: My life has finally stabilized. And not stabilized in the sense that for the last two years everything has been really up in the air and it has all finally settled down with the completion of graduate school, but stabilized in the sense that life has finally settled down, period. For the first time I feel like I have actually arrived at something that might actually resemble my future. I received a stellar education, have a fantastic job, am dating the most incredible man in the world, and I'm happy.

And again, not happy in the sense of like, yay I have a job and a boyfriend, but happy in the sense that I am doing what I love and what I want to do for my whole life and have found the person that I want to spend that whole life with. For serious.

My life has always just felt like getting over one hurdle after another, always anticipating what was coming next and knowing that something else was always coming next. I finished high school and looked ahead to college. I finished college and looked ahead to student teaching, I finished student teaching and looked ahead to graduate school. And now I'm done with graduate school and I have a career. Like, this isn't going to change in a year because I'm moving or because I'm graduating or because I get into university. I'm a teacher. It's my job and I love it and I'm not leaving.

I'm still not quite used to it. I still feel a little bit like a kid, or at least an undergrad. But I'm 24. 24! I have my own health insurance and I pay my own rent and when my car breaks down, well crap, I have to take care of it. But it's life now. My life. Not the life I live with the generous aid of my parents. Not the life I live while I'm figuring out what to do with my future. My own, real life. And it's good.

Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve it all, but I figure I'd better not push my luck.

all i ever had

I sometimes get nervous when I see an email from a parent, but this one made my morning:

Good Morning Miss Garcia,

I just wanted to give you some feed back on your assignments for Romeo and Juliet. I thought they were great, I felt like Brian was really involved and interested with the Myspace assigment and also the CD. Of course if it has anything to do with MySpace and Music he is all for it. I have also spoken to other parents and they feel the same way. It was a great way to keep these kids involved and them wanting to do their homework. I can't speak for all of them , but Brian really enjoyed his projects. Just wanted to say Thank You and keep up the good work in supporting our children with their education.

put in the time

I am alone in my classroom on my prep. The speech class that normally meets here is in the theatre today and having this hour to myself is like a tiny piece of heaven. Seriously.

Today is the last day of school before spring break. It is finally here! All of my classes (except for EL) are watching "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" (ha!) so I can catch up on grading before leaving for LA. I am so excited for this spring break and can't wait to spend time with my uncle and see Stephanie and Kevin and read the stack of books that I have been accumulating ever since buying my plane tickets.

Yesterday I attended an IEP meeting for a particularly difficult case. The student himself is very well-behaved and works hard in my class, but his learning difficulties are great and I know it's a struggle for him. I recieved this email from his mom today (student name has been changed, of course):

Hello Megan I wanted to make sure to send you a quick note prior to you’re
leaving on break. In preparing for the IEP meeting, Chris and I talked
about the questions the team would ask us. When I asked him what was his
favorite class I was surprised for him to say English. I would have guessed PE
or ART (smiles). Chris has never liked to read or write and I am so pleased to
hear he is reading aloud in class. Kudos to you, on making your class
enjoyable as well as a great learning environment for the students. Chris
and I also discussed he has learned more this year than the previous two or
three years in your class. Going to school to get your masters and keeping
up with all of your classes I know is very challenging and I wanted you to know
that I truly appreciate your efforts and support.

After being sexually harrassed by a different student yesterday (a story that will have to wait for another day because I'm still too upset to really discuss it), that was a nice note to get. It's important to be reminded why I love my job so much, especially as we near the end of the year.

This afternoon I'm getting my hair cut (yay!) and then attending the cast party for the children's musical (aww). Then tomorrow I'm meeting Brian's parents for lunch (yikes!) and then flying to LA (hooray!). Lots of exciting things ahead, including my 24th birthday in a mere 15 days!