sing and dance i play for you tonight

I wrote this on Monday after Senior Night, but didn't get around to posting it until now because I've been lazy with pictures. Oh well.

I didn't expect to really feel much of anything, let alone cry, at my Senior Night. I have, afterall, been technically "alum or something" for a whole semester. And I did pretty well until they started praying for us and then Kristen Jones said that we were ADX to her, and that for a long time, whenever she thinks of ADX, she'll think of us. That got me thinking about Kassey and Bronwyn and Kelli and Aubrey and the Valentine twins and then I started to cry because regardless of what happened this year, ADX has been my home and these girls have been my sisters and my friends and when I think of ADX, I think of all the girls from the last two Senior Nights and how much they loved me and cared for me and changed my life with their honesty and their desire to see me grow.

My prayer for ADX is the same as it has always been - that they grow in spirit and in truth, that they strive for authenticity and compassion, that they be real with eachother and with God, and that they continue to be a light on our campus. I don't know where I would be without ADX and without all the girls who have gone before me encouraging me and pushing me and believing in me. They have supported me through messy breakups, jobs across the country, applying to graduate school, and discovering who I am. They didn't doubt me, judge me, or quit on me and when I needed to step away, the ones who mattered understood. I have been humbled and blessed beyond words.

What a lucky life I lead.

(Although whoever submitted the picture of me and Neal from spring semi for the senior slideshow? Not cool at all. I was honestly rather offended. You know better.)

Pictures of girls in black:

ADX's class of 2006

Obligatory Senior Butt Shot

Sassy

With Pauline, as per tradition

With my girl, Lindy

VPs past and present

We're leaving ADX in excellent hands

2/3 of my little sisters - Jackie and Kimberlyn

meet me here

My college career is ending in 5 days with as little fanfare and excitement as posisble. I haven't sent out graduation announcements, I'm not having a party, I'm not even walking. I'm just pleased to know that I'm done and that I finished well. I'm proud of what I've accomplished here and what I'm moving forward to do and all I really need is a pat on the back from my dad and to know that my parents are proud of me. Which they are.

Last weekend was seriously a whirlwind. On Friday night, I got comp tickets from Mondavi to the Pacific Edge Film Festival, so Daniel and I went and saw some pieces by Melinda Stone, specifically the Market Street Project, which we were both really interested in. On Saturday, we met up with Alex to go see some of our kids play in the Sacramento Jazz Jubilee, and then on Sunday morning after church we left for Napa. After some winetasting and winery-visiting, we drove down to Millbrae for cake and card games with Daniel's parents and some of his cousins and on Monday morning we visited my mom for a few hours before coming back up to Davis so I could be at elections for ADX's 06-07 eboard.

I can't believe it's Thursday already and that this upcoming weekend is upon me so quickly. Steph's bridal shower is Saturday morning at California Cafe in Palo Alto and I'm so excited to go and celebrate with her. On top of all that UCC's Annual Celebration is Sunday night and they've asked me to be there so they can honor me for my work this year, but I think I have to babysit, so that's kind of a bummer.

So I guess even if I'm not walking or throwing a huge graduation bash, I'm busy enough as this quarter draws to a close. Last night marked yet another fabulous evening at the Denison House after Worship Night at the Edge with grilled chicken kabobs, rice and corn curry, wine, cheesecake, and chocolate covered strawberries in celebration of Daniel's birthday. I have been blessed with some incredible friends and sitting around Alex's huge dining room table, drinking wine and playing "Blind Ignorance" is always a nice reminder.

Pictures from Napa soon. And my brother moved back home. Life stays interesting.

on an eighteen month delay

The other day in class, we were talking about minority achievement variability (don't be fooled, it's not as exciting as it sounds), and Professor Johnson summarized a point that the author had made by saying, "Lee argues that Ogbu's theory sees Asians as a monolithic group. Does everyone know what monolithic means?" And this girl raises her hand and says, "It's a belief system where you only believe in one God."

I nearly fell out of my chair. Completely forgetting that I was in class and that I don't know this girl and that maybe I should try to be sensitive to the fact that some people are morons, I say, rather audibly, "That's monotheism. And we aren't even talking about religion." And Professor Johnson laughs and looks at me and says, "Would you care to define monolithic for the class?" and I say, "Well, considering that we were just talking about, monolithic means a homogenous group in which variability is not accounted for."

Duh.

I am so done with college.

In other news, my schedule is so jam-packed I'm having a hard time believing I'm only taking 10 units, and only 6 of them for a grade. Between papers and debates, planning the Famine, trying to move out, projects for work, family obligations, physical therapy, meeting with ADX girls, and general end-of-the-year stuff, I literally am never home. On top of that, I don't think I'm going to be in Davis a single weekend until the end of the quarter (aside from Famine weekend). Ryan and Megan's going away party, my mom's birthday, (Famine), Napa, Stephie's bridal shower, and then I'm done.

Not that I mind, really. I'm sort of over the whole "spending every free second of every day with people because before you know it this will all be over" thing. Maybe because I'm not leaving Davis yet. Maybe because a lot of people who are really important to me aren't leaving either (or are staying nearby in Natomas and Sac). Or maybe just because that's not my style. I don't feel a deep sense of regret and sadness that college is ending. It's been fun, but I know there is something bigger and more exciting on the horizon and I'm perfectly willing to wait that out without getting overly emotional about commencement.

Because that's what it is. Commencement. I'm finally getting to start doing what I really want to do. I get to work in a classroom and be an adult and not deal with all of the college "stuff" that gets in the way. Finally.

I trust that God has had the most extreme hand in these last four years. London, New York, ADX, and UCC especially. I know He has sent me places to train me and taught me things to prepare me, but I don't think He intends for me to hold onto those things and lament that they have passed. I think He intends for me learn from them and move on and use those experiences as a springboard for what is coming.


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord...