world's on fire

The Famine is this weekend (it started, in fact, 4 hours ago) and I wish I could just relax and enjoy it. I am stressed out and I have hives and my eyes itch and I have a cold sore. I don't particularly want to sleep on the ground at the church tonight and I don't particularly want to play capture the flag, developing country-style. It's not that I don't like the Famine, it's just that I didn't like planning it.

It's kind of like being VP. Your whole job is to get people psyched on your event and then, by the time it rolls around, you are so sick of making phone calls and coordinating menus and acting like this is going to be the greatest event of all time that you can't even get excited about dressing up for it because, dear Lord, please let it be over soon.

But I have to discipline myself to remember what this is all about, especially since my girls are so excited about it and I am so proud of them for putting together Bible studies and coming up with activity ideas all on their own. Because after all of the planning and organizing and being frustrated with the lack of help and support I recieved from anyone on staff, this is about making a difference. It's about raising awareness and getting our kids to think about people who live somewhere that's not Mace Ranch. It's about realizing that 790 million people go to bed hungry every night and that most people live on less than $1 a day. My heart hurts, you guys, because I buy expensive moisturizer and have a car and own ski gear and don't know what it's like to be without. I'm so guilty of taking my blessings for granted and then I watch the videos that WorldVision sends me for Famine publicity and it just makes me ache. Why am I here when I should be there? Why do I have so much when so many have nothing? Why don't I make a habit of giving until it hurts?

Planning this has made me ache, but in the wrong way. Time for a reality check.