i believe

I have a love-hate relationship with MySpace.

On one hand, I love MySpace because it appeals to everything snoopish and voyeuristic within me. I love that I can see Steph and JP's wedding pictures on JP's MySpace, I love that I can discover which girls from my junior high are, in fact, lesbians without actually having to speak to anyone from junior high. I love that I can discover new music and practice my coding skills and keep up with ADX girls all across the country.

On the other hand, I hate that MySpace allows me to see what my junior high students are up to when they aren't at youth group. I hate that it is a billboard in flashing neon of my brother's (occasionally illegal) escapades in Chico. I hate that I can feel defined by music choices and color combinations and that people actually get offended if they aren't in your "Top 8".

I've been advised to get rid of my MySpace when I start student teaching, and I'm tempted to take that advice. Although I don't fear getting in trouble because of what's on my own MySpace, ignorance is bliss and I would just rather not know a lot of things that I discover, completely unexpectedly, via a MySpace bulletin (a note to pot-smokers in the building: please do not tell me that you are using Bible paper to roll your joints. Especially if you used to be in my small group. Thanks.)

David and I have been MySpace messaging back and forth these last several days about Cain and Abel (I have always been his go-to Bible expert) after a three year "break" in which we refused to acknowledge the others' presence. It's weird, how they all start to come back at the same time, in one way or another. Ro messaged me on Facebook (another love-hate relationship here) today and, although the Neal dreams have subsided, he'll be back in town soon and Lord knows I always run into him in the worst situations. It's only a matter of time before I hear from Heath again, and at least James is, literally, half a world away.

Incidentally, Daniel is also out of town and all I really want is a big hug from my favorite boyfriend of all time.


And doesn't that sound familiar
Doesn't that hit too close to home
Doesn't that make you shiver
The way things could have gone?
Doesn't that feel peculiar
When everyone wants a little more?
So that I do remember
To never go that far
Cause you leave me with a scar